I usually begin these posts with a quote from a satisfied client, but not every client wants to put pen to paper - or fingertips to keyboard - and there are times when I really wouldn't expect them to.
What's the hardest thing anyone ever has to deal with? What is every parent's nightmare? We all know. The loss of a child.
Any death shakes us, especially someone close to us. But instinctively we feel that some losses are a little more acceptable because they are to some extent expected.
No parent expects any of their children to pass away before them. Even if they're not children anymore. And especially if they're perfectly healthy.
Bob's son was only 31 when he died quite unexpectedly after a night out with friends. Ex-forces, he was quite an action man and the cause of death was a little unclear, but it seemed to be rather a freak accident related to breathing difficulties due to lying on his front whilst asleep and intoxicated. No-one's fault, but naturally this would seem like it should have been completely avoidable to anyone affected by the loss - and Bob's family were deeply, deeply affected by the loss.
When Bob first rang me, it was only three or four weeks after the event and he felt that he just wasn't coping, that he needed help but he did wonder if it was in fact too soon... and I must admit that I wondered that myself. We talked for a good half-hour on the phone, then we agreed to leave it for a while and maybe arrange to do a hypnotherapy session for grief and loss another month or so down the line.
But only a few days later, Bob rang me back. He'd changed his mind: he felt he couldn't wait that long, he needed help now. So we arranged a hypnosis session just as soon as we could.
Now you might wonder how a hypnotherapist could possibly help a grieving parent cope with the loss of a beloved son or daughter. The pain is just the worst imaginable: how could any therapy help a grieving mum or dad to come to terms with the agony of a tragic death, especially so soon after the event? They can't accept what's happened; in fact, even though they may genuinely want help, they don't want to accept any of this, naturally.
It is a common assumption that if you can 'hypnotise' somebody, then you can change them. A false assumption, based on seeing cheap stage tricks where that appears to happen.
No cheap trick would be any use at all in a hypnotherapist's office, believe me. And I'm not going to lie: this kind of sesssion has to be amongst the hardest I ever have to deal with. Nothing is more serious than this. You see, getting the attention of the Subconscious mind of a client is easy. The incredibly hard part is this: What on Earth are you going to say?
What I said to Bob in his hypnotherapy session - in fact we did three in the end - is of course confidential, and highly personal, so naturally I'm not going to detail any of it here. But the difference it made, in his ability to deal with the tragedy, deal with other people, and handle still going to work, was very significant and he was extremely grateful for it. And this did not surprise me, because as I have been doing hypnotherapy for more than twenty years now, of course I have worked with grieving parents before, and people who are mourning other family members, friends, pets, failed relationships and all the other losses in life that tear us apart. more about this
They say time heals all wounds. Not completely, maybe, but it heals.
Hypnotherapy just does it faster. Your Subconscious mind controls all your feelings, all your emotions and emotional reactions... but it is not analytical, so it can't work things out for itself. It gets bogged down: stuck in an emotional rut. That is why it usually takes so long - left to itself - to come to terms with pain and loss. But with the right support and help from hypnotherapy, it can do that much quicker.
So if you are struggling to accept, or come to terms with any kind of loss or grief, don't suffer more, or for longer than you need to. Your loved ones wouldn't want that, obviously. Phone Chris on 0161 474 8120 (Office Hours), or call/text any time, any day on 07748 838 644. I'll be very glad to help.
Chris Holmes is Director of Central Hypnotherapy Stockport, South Manchester and has been helping the people of Stockport, Cheshire, Manchester and Tameside to come to terms with life's most difficult emotional challenges since August 2000.